I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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