? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
