Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
