sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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