Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
