Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
