question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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