Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
