I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
