So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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