A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
