There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize