Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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