You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
