did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Of course I have a pirate flag
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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