I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
