Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
