while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
