Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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