I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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