hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
