I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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