Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize