So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
