He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
