If i come over, it means nothing
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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