I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
