I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize