I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
