Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize