you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
