these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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