Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
