Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and she was petting her beer can
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
