I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
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We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
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Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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