Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
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I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
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He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize