put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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