Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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