Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i drank out of a bidet.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
