It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
