have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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