I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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