You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize