Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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