The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
