We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
