R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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