Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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