There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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