ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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