You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
