You just made me feel so damn special
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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