I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
