Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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