I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
