i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
