You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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