that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
