I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
